spokesNspin

I hate squirrels!

I have heard that squirrels are simply rats with a good PR agent. I have had them eat through my roof. My neighbor claims they have actually eaten through metal siding on his house.

They must be God’s stupidest creation or close to it. Based on my observation of their behavior, all they think about is food and mating. I guess from that standpoint they may be very similar to teenage boys. But I seldom see boys engage in anything with the same frenetic energy as squirrels.

For example, I have seen a squirrel run across the road and get to the other side. Then it appears that the squirrel realizes, “Oh my gosh, there was a car I could have been killed”. So it immediately turns around and runs back to other side right in front of the car.

They are a dangerous pain on the bike trail. Initially I would try to avoid hitting squirrels while riding my bike. I soon learned that was not only useless but more dangerous.

The safe thing to do is not worry about hitting the squirrel. Relax and assume a position as if you are going to hit the squirrel.

I have hit a few using this technique but it is very rare. With this method I have clocked a few in the head with my pedal as it came around. I have hit them with a front tire. I have run over them with the back tire as the dashed under my bike.

Clocking them in the head with your pedal gives a rather satisfying thunk sound. Hitting them with a tire isn’t too bad. It isn’t as rough as hitting a pot hole. You won’t crash as if you hit a large dog. It‘s more of a slight skid and then the tire and squirrel sort of roll together. A little icky maybe but no big deal.

In almost all cases the squirrel takes off and doesn’t seem to be any worse for the wear.

Stay tuned for more handy and useful expert riding tips.

Just when you thought I could not stoop(squat) any lower in blog posts, here is another one.

It seems there is a new controversy over the Olympics in China.  It’s about toilets.  The issue recently came to a “head” when the Padres and Dodgers played at the Olympic venue.  The Western attendees were not happy about the commonly used squat toilets.  

Westerners just won’t “stand” for this so Yao Hui is trying to remedy the situation by installing more sit-down type toilets.  But it seems the classless society of communists have run up against the age old problem of limited resources.  So sit down toilets will only be provided based on class ranking. 

I wonder if Larry Craig qualifies as a VIP.  I can see where squat toilets could put a crimp in his style.

I am not going to the Olympics so personally, I don’t give a squat.  But if you are going and are not a VIP, you have two options.  You can either hold it or use a squat toilet.

As I am ever on the lookout for ways to help and inform the uneducated, I have provided a link here with instructions on using a squatter.

Let me forewarn you that these instruction are detailed, graphic and hilarious.  One minute you will be falling off your throne in laughter and the next going “ewwww disgusting”!  I apologize in advance for this bathroom humor.

The link also includes a very tasteful picture of a squatter(toilet not person) just in case you have never seen one.

This issue brings me to another question.  When Western countries host the Olympics do they provide a certain number of squat toilets for people from countries who prefer to squat?  Does the White House have a special bathroom for squatting dignitaries?

Seems like  what is good for the goose ought to be good for the gander.

Do check out and vote in my latest squat toilet poll.

Several months ago I started reading Barack Obama’s book “The Audacity of Hope”.  I didn’t finish it.  I could agree with much of what he said but I guess I just thought it was too “audacious” to hope for positive change in American politics.

I heard a lot about his speech on March 18th and I heard sound bites on various news programs.  I finally decided that I needed to listen to the entire speech.  You can listen to it on youtube here

I will admit that I was moved both emotionally and intellectually.  It caused me to reconsider some things that I have thought about race.  It got me to see Obama in a different light.

After listening to all 37 minutes of that speech I concluded that there are two qualities about Obama that I appreciate and find refreshing.

One is that he is very thoughtful.  I mean that in the sense that I believe he contemplates and ponders the issues.  Not only in a calculating way  but in a way to understand what is going on in society. 

Our current President certainly doesn’t do that and has even admitted as much.

Great leaders like Jefferson and John Adams were thinkers.  People like Bush, Cheney and Rove are calculating thinkers.  They don’t contemplate for understanding but to gain an edge. 

The other thing I got from the speech is that, as many have said, he really is a very good orator.  As I said, I was moved during many parts of his speech.  I have heard many people say that after attending a rally and hearing  a speech by Obama they were brought to tears.  I can believe it. 

Imagine what it would be like to have a leader who attempts understanding and then could rally America in a way to make positive change. 

If he had a good plan to go with it maybe we could be a geat country again.

Is it too much to hope for? Is it audacious?

“I must say, I’m a little envious. If I were slightly younger and not employed here, I think it would be a fantastic experience to be on the front lines of helping this young democracy succeed. It must be exciting for you . . . in some ways romantic, in some ways, you know, confronting danger. You’re really making history, and thanks.”

Supposedly this is what President G.W. Bush said in a video to troops in Afghanistan.  And this is the same president who used his position and power to avoid the “exciting” and “romantic” life of the front lines in Vietnam.

The guy really is amazing.  When you think he can’t surprise you he does it again.

But then what do we expect from these people.  Cheney on Wednesday said “So?” when a news commentator talked to him about the public’s disapproval of the handling of the war.  Here is a good column on that one.

Check this out. I hope this is still available.