Archive for March, 2008

Ain’t it the truth!

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

You Are a Cadbury Creme Egg


You’re the type that stole little brother’s easter basket so that you could have MORE CANDY!

What Easter Candy Are You?

Not only that I would steal candy from my children’s Easter Basket.   I will sneak it before it is even in the baskets.  And I do love Cadbury Creme eggs.

And here is another thing that fits me perfectly.  It is  from Gene Weingarten’s column of last week.  I have included part of it here:

This is what it is like to be at the movies with me.

Me: Is that the same guy who was in the last scene, with the girl?

Wife: Yes. Shh.

Me: But he had a beard in the last scene.

Wife: No, he didn’t. Shhh.

Me: Are you sure?

Wife: Shhhhh.

Me: (Sulk.)

Wife: Listen, you idiot. It’s Tom Cruise. The same Tom Cruise who was in the previous scene. It’s the same one who will be in the next scene. It’s the same one who had Renee Zellweger at hello in the last movie when you forgot who Tom Cruise was, and, yes, by the way, that was Renee Zellweger, not Kirsten Dunst, who looks nothing like Renee Zellweger and would not be confused for Renee Zellweger by anyone but you, okay?

Stranger in next seat: Shhh.

I am sure my family will agree wholeheartedly with that one. Except they would add this:

Me: How old is she?

Wife: I don’t know.

Me: Isn’t she married to what’s his name?

Daughter: Oh Dad just be quiet and watch the show!

Fraternal Order of Police Fund Drive

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

I got a call today from some type of Fraternal Order of Fairfax Law Enforcement something or other. The do not call list does not stop charitable organizations. They wanted money to help pay for the dependents of police officers killed in the line of duty. They try to put this guilt complex on you if you don’t pony up. .

I get these calls from law enforcement , firefighters etc. on a fairly regular basis. Why do we sentimentalize some types deaths and not others? When I was in Utah there was a big uproar over setting up crosses at locations where law enforcement officers had been killed. Again sentimentalizing their death.

The fact is the there are a lot of other occupations that are more dangerous than either law enforcement or fire fighting. And don’t give that line about how these people are out their risking their lives to protect me. It’s a job somebody has to do and I appreciate it.

But I believe most people who get into that work are not doing it out of benevolence. Very few people do any jobs out of a desire to serve. Don’t let them kid you. They are people who are thrill seekers. They like confrontation and they get off on the power. If they didn’t they wouldn’t be good at the job.

Do you like to eat? How important is eating to you? How about a shelter? Is that important? Farming and most construction jobs are more dangerous than law enforcement. Mining and extraction occupations are more dangerous. By dangerous I am referring to the rate of on the job deaths.

Let me put this a different way. Let’s say your spouse is a farmer or a lumber jack. When you kiss your spouse good-bye in the morning and send them to work the probability is greater that they won’t be coming home alive than if they were a police officer.

Thems are the facts folks. So lets erect a cross near every farm where a farmer has died in the line of duty. Why don’t we set up The Benevolent Society for the Dependents of Fallen Farmers and make phone calls around dinner time?

A Very Good Bush Joke

Wednesday, March 19th, 2008

Ralph Nader, Al Gore, and George W. Bush went to a fitness spa for some fun.
After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit the men’s room and they found a strange-looking gent sitting at the entrance.

 He said: “Welcome to the gentlemen’s room. Be sure to check out our newest feature, a mirror that, if you look into it and say something truthful, you will be rewarded with your wish. But, be warned: If you say something false, you will be sucked into the mirror to live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!”

 The three men quickly entered and upon finding the mirror.

Ralph Nader stepped up and said, “I think I’m the most truthful of us three,” and he suddenly found the keys to a brand new Bentley in his hands.

Al Gore stepped up and said, “I think I’m the most ambitious of us three,” and in an instant, he was surrounded by a pile of money to fund his next Presidential Campaign.

Excited over the possibility of having a wish come true, George W. Bush looked into the mirror and said,”I think…” and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

This was passed on to me by a friend. :)


Spring is Blooming!

Monday, March 17th, 2008

Check out this picture I took on my street today. Woohoo!

bloom.jpg

Not long and it will be like this all over the place.

Home Sweet Homeless

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

When one takes up a life of early morning bicycle commuting to work they should be prepared for meeting all types of people each day.  Some are normal and some are not so normal. 

There are the usual early morning workers that deliver everything from newspapers to groceries.  There are other early morning walkers, dog walkers, runners etc.  There is an occasional hooker.  There are of course other cyclists. There are also encounters with wildlife. 

Some of these early morning people appear to be sane.  Others obviously are not.

A very common person to meet is the homeless person.  I feel sad when I see them and grateful that I have a roof over my head.   It is clear that many of them are mentally ill.  There are others that impress me with their ingenuity.

There are some memorable ones.  I almost ran over one on my bike once.  He had chosen to lie down and sleep right in the middle of the path.  He was on a bridge crossing a wet land.  He had also chosen his sleeping spot right in a bend to make it even harder to see him.  I came so close to hitting him.  I must have been the first one that morning. I think I woke him up because later cyclists told me he was no longer there.

I don’t know why he chose such a spot.  There were better places nearby.

There was one who had a bicycle that had a milk crate tied on the back.  He also had stuff strapped on the front.  When I would ride to work I would see him on his bike sleeping under an overpass.   His feet would be hanging off the front of the  bike and his back would be leaning on the stuff piled high on the back.  He and the bike would be leaning against the wall.  It was impressive. I don’t know how he did it. 

catballou.jpgIt reminded me of that scene in the movie from Cat Ballou. The one where both Lee Marvin and his horse are drunk and leaning against a wall sleeping it off.

There is another interesting fellow I see who seems to be somewhat cleaner and more cognizant of what is going on.  Sometimes he is actually reading what appear to be books.  He carries two gym bags.  He also seems not quite so hammered.  I wonder if he is not actually homeless.  Maybe every so often his wife just kicks him out of the house for a day or two.

The homeless people I see are generally men.  But there is a woman I see fairly often.  No matter the temperature she is covered with several layers of brightly colored blankets and wraps.

For the last several months one guy has set up camp in a most unusual place.  He is right off the road and next to a retaining wall supporting a major road. There is absolutely no shelter.  But it is very light because he makes is bed right under a street light.  His bed is also just a few inches from the road.   This seems to be a rather permanent camp for him.  He has quite a pile of goods stacked against the wall.  When I first saw him I didn’t realize it was a person.  I thought someone had just dumped their garbage there.

It still seems to me to be a unlikely place to camp.  Maybe it is far enough off the beaten path that he doesn’t get disturbed.    I have seen him sleeping here in pretty cold weather and rain or shine.  He is covered with several layers of blankets and what looks like rug remnants.  There are some pics below.

sleepman1.jpgslpman2.jpg

The first picture was taken early in the morning when it was dark.  The second was taken after work one day.  Notice his belongings piled against the wall. On this day he was smoking and reading a sales circular.

A man’s home is his castle so I do feel a little guilty about taking his pic.  To help ease my conscience I purchased some food for him while grocery shopping yesterday.  I will leave it for him next time I ride by early in the morn while he is asleep.